The Selectcity Epiphany – Part 1 – S**tty S**tty Bland Bland


A Humble Request – Please ignore grammatical errors. IIT has not been good for the health of my English :P

There must be some part of the human brain that helps us appreciate western food, and all I know is that I definitely don’t have that. You might say I don’t have a good taste or that I haven’t been to the good places yet.
But call it my soon to come utter disrespect for such food or my pig-headedness, I am done with the over-rated bland/pseudo-spicy/slimy food. This realisation of my deep loathing, that should have come a long time
back, sadly, came to me in SelectCity Walk, when I was trying to convince myself that the 500 something bucks that I have paid for the thin HAAGEN DAZS (or whatever the stupid spelling is) pancakes have not gone waste.
But of course, you can only convince yourself in the presence of a reliable evidence. And I had none. I will not, at any point, try to discourage anyone from going to this or any other food(oops, ice-cream) chain, and I will
not claim that what I ate there was very bad. All I know now, is that finally it is not my fundamental duty to go and try out every random food place everywhere. I had heard people gushing
about pancakes and waffles and this bakery and that. I have been to almost all that they have recommended and all I was rewarded with was disappointment.
Coming back to the topic, the pancakes were wafer thin, not properly cooked and the smell of caramel was making me giddy. I should have taken a hint when I was the only one entering the place. It’s good to see that
not everyone is just as stupid. I quietly ate as much as I could let myself and then decided that never again shall I be deceived by the nice lights and the smooth menu cards of such places. Bland, raw food is not my thing.
I remember making funny faces when I saw a guy eating – sorry, relishing – a huge bowl full of mashed potatoes and butter. I was smarter then. Few things have changed since then. Most of the food outside of the
Indian cuisine and almost all the food that is served in the malls is beyond the understanding of my taste buds.
This experience of mine led me to ask the question – Why did I and many other people like me still go and eat at such places and try to make ourselves believe that maybe, just maybe all the people who sing such
praises of all these places are sane ? They might be, but we certainly are not. The kind of people we associate with, the lifestyle we have adopted, spending(wasting) money is fun, fun is any western thing(any shit from
the other side of the globe), and liking and following and buying that is acceptance. Acceptance into the cooler section of the society. It gives a sense of validation. ”Hey look I just ate at Mc D ! My life so frickkin fun !! ”
I know that people don’t really do that, but it is the almost the same thing. But with this desire for validation also lingers this knowledge that we are fooling ourselves. This endless pursuit stems only from deep seatedImage
insecurities, not for the people who like such food, but those who don’t and try to tell themselves they do. And this is not limited to food only. I can go on and on about this, but let us not take the spotlight away
from the pathetic pancakes of the retarded over-priced, glossy food-place(due to the lack of a better word). You may like it, he may like it, I can not.Sadly this truth has dawned upon me countless restaurants and thousands of rupees later.
This might be a personal problem and I might be a ‘Gawaar’, who can not appreciate high quality Belgian or French food, but if you ask me, I hardly find snails (check out french cuisine) edible, let alone delicious.

Why I did not turn Facebook chat on , and why I do it now


The one thing that I have been asked the most, online, is “How Come YOU are online ?” 

Clearly I am not a fan of the facebook chat and there are many many reasons for that. I was just thinking , why not classify them by the kind of people who affect my decision, which I am sure, will clarify and justify my abhorrence of chatting online. Nothing personal, people

  • The “I am so bored” type – These are the people I detest talking to the most. And nothing annoys me more than when somebody says “I am so bored. Tell me something” or “I am so bored. So. wassup ?” If you ask me, it sounds like,”I am so bored with my uneventful life, since that included sleeping through the day and watching dumb series and wasting my time laughing away on 9gag, so I thought why not ask you to entertain me ? I’d prefer if you’d sing or dance, but any random conversation will do.” Time-wasters. But maximum people start their conversations like that. Facebook has become this congregation of perpetually entertained – perpetually bored folks. Not worth anyone’s time.
  • The Seniors – Fortunately , seniors have never given me trouble here and that is because I am a girl in IIT. Senior girls never bother much about hostel or juniors or whatever. I can almost imagine the inbox of the guys. “Facche room se aake mera ATM card le ja , pin XXXX hai , itne withdraw karake la.” etc. I am happy.
  • The relatives – why are they even in my friend list ? I mean seriously , why ? Cousins is okay. But the ever-inquisitive aunts and uncles, so not done. And then they would be telling people, “Puri puri raat online baithi rehti hai. College jake pata nhi kya ho jata hai in sabhi ko”. And the always the same conversations with them, “haan ji…….bilkul….bata dungi……sab acche hain…..haanji”. Bleh. Let me have just one place where I don’t have to bear you !
  • The Stalkers – Well well well. They are so very interesting. And weird. And creepy. It seems as if they had been lurking somewhere in the chat box, waiting for you to be online, so that they can just pounce with their unwanted compliments and the dreaded moments when they come dangerously close to asking out or something. “you looked lovely that day. And that day too. And in this photo.” I almost stop myself from saying, “Ahan.And what about that day – you know, the last day of exams when I had gotten up ten minutes before the exam started and I had horrible hair that I tried to comb through with my fingers, in vain, and when I had toothpaste on my crumpled t-shirt ? I must have looked great then too, since I got generously stared by everyone I walked by and was asked if I have not been sleeping a whole week and you, you still did not give up that freaky, creepy stare of yours.”  I often ignore, but after a point , it becomes like impossible, especially if they are people you have a lot of mutual friends with or if you are in the same class. So I just stay offline and innocently pretend that somehow I never read their messages or that my laptop fell off the balcony or I had no time to check or whatever other excuse they are dumb or polite enough to accept. images
  • The clingy ‘friend’ – Every school that I have been to, I have the unwanted experience of being a friend of someone without wanting to. I don’t know how it happens, I just can never tell people,”Back off, I don’t like you” at the right time and then I am just caught up in this thing where I tolerate them till my patience melts and then we have the epic showdown. It gets ugly. Whatever, so there are always these people, who get so close to you so suddenly and while you are not even so sure, but you become ‘friends’. These friends miss no opportunity of pinging you when you’re online. And the good thing about the other people – you can ignore them and get away with them. Here you can not. They will then text you or call you. And you just can not escape them. And they are always, perpetually talking. I mean ,come on, for how long can you keep talking to a person, when you don’t even like them so much. The biggest reason for using you discretion and staying offline.
  • The Crush – Now this is the person you stay online for. To get to talk to them and to dumbly hope that maybe that will change their mind. If you ask me, nothing can do that, but if they are falling too, then this can help. But, call it irony the only person you want to talk to will never be online at the same time, or they have to leave (I am saying have to because I do not wish to consider the possibility they are avoiding you- that would be sad, trust me) minutes after you finally catch them. So you have to do with the slow, irregular, awkward offline messages.
  • The ex – And this is the person you obviously do NOT want to talk to, but somehow the green dot next to their name never seems to disappear,  like ever. They just stay there, their terrible grin brazenly showing on your screen, You could be offline to them, but we would not want to ruin the “friends only” thing now, would we. And though it should not bother you, it does. “Dude, do you not sleep or something ?” ” Go get a job, man and get off that list !”
  • The “could you do me a favor  type – Another one joining the glorious group of the most annoying people ever. “Hey could you like this page for me?” “Hey could you ask someone this for me?” “Hey could you fill this survey for me?” Yes, of course. That is what I am here for. To start a Facebook charitable organisation, where we help pests like you ! You need not even ask, after all who would not like to help a friend who only talks to you when they have to get this or that done and then pretend you are invisible. I would love to do that.Though I must admit I do that (sometimes) too, but , this is my blog and hence, I am allowed to hold double-standards.<bwahahahaha>
  • The enemy-turned-friend – “hey , how are you ? Been a long time. I so missed you” Umm aren’t you the guy who spread that rumour about me in school and if I am not wrong you called me a bitch too, in front of the teacher. So why are we BFFs again ? “You were right. (I am. always)  I should never have said all that. It was her who told me crap(yeah, right and you were her minion like the ones in Despicable me).” As sweet as all that sounds. Its too late. You can’t just shoot somebody in the head and then apologise. Get that ? And if you really have had a change of heart, we will soon find out.

Well thats about it, I guess. I have only pointed out the negatives but there are some(only some let me tell you) good things about the facebook chat. I have been online for a few days(If you read it, you will know why ;) ), but I know how stupid it is. So I shall disappear again.

Ode To Duty


This indiscipline , this whimsical way of living bores me now. I remember this amazing dialogue somewhere , ‘ To be truly free , you need to be bound.’ 5 years after having read this poem , I finally understand how important some kind of Discipline is. If you do not stand up for something, you will fall for anything.

Stern Daughter of the Voice of God!
O Duty! if that name you love
Who art a light to guide, a rod
To check the erring, and reprove;
Thou, who art victory and law
When empty terrors overawe;
From vain temptations dost set free,
And calm’st the weary strife of frail humanity!

There are who ask not if thine eye
Be on them; who, in love and truth,
Where no misgiving is, rely
Upon the genial sense of youth:
Glad hearts! without reproach or blot,
Who do thy work, and know it not:
Oh! if through confidence misplaced
They fail, thy saving arms, dread Power! around them cast.

Serene will be our days and bright,
And happy will our nature be,
When love is an unerring light,
And joy its own security.
And they a blissful course may hold
Even now, who, not unwisely bold,
Live in the spirit of this creed;
Yet seek thy firm support, according to their need.

I, loving freedom, and untried,
No sport of every random gust,
Yet being to myself a guide,
Too blindly have reposed my trust:
And oft, when in my heart was heard
Thy timely mandate, I deferred
The task, in smoother walks to stray;
But thee I now would serve more strictly, if I may.

Through no disturbance of my soul,
Or strong compunction in me wrought,
I supplicate for thy control,
But in the quietness of thought:
Me this unchartered freedom tires;
I feel the weight of chance-desires:

My hopes no more must change their name;
I long for a repose that ever is the same.

Stern Lawgiver! yet thou dost wear
The Godhead’s most benignant grace;
Nor know we anything so fair
As is the smile upon thy face:
Flowers laugh before thee on their beds,
And fragrance in thy footing treads;
Thou dost preserve the stars from wrong;
And the most ancient heavens, through Thee, are fresh and strong.

To humbler functions, awful Power!
I call thee: I myself commend
Unto thy guidance from this hour;
Oh, let my weakness have an end!
Give unto me, made lowly wise,
The spirit of self-sacrifice;
The confidence of reason give;
And in the light of truth thy Bondman let me live!

- William Wordsworth

Time to change


Tic-Toc. Tic-Toc. Tic-Toc.
At times I wonder how relentless time is.
It never stops for anything , for anyone.
Thinking about time almost always makes me think of life.
Its amazing how much we ponder about life , its futility and brevity.
Especially when you have no idea what to write in an exam , you can not stop this vicious mental cycle.This stream of thoughts . the self-pity and the voice inside your head , which keeps saying ,”told you so” , ” aur karo facebook” . The entire world seems so cruel then .
You want to shout at the girl next door who won’t stop playing the music out loud , but you did not because you enjoy killing time too. You want to  kill your friend for taking you out to dinner the night before the exam because that time could have been utilised for studying all the stuff which was required for the exam which you unfortunately have to sit through.
The time when you dont like to study , dont want to study , dont get to study . The place where marks are needed to validate oneself. Every time when I seriously get down to study , all these thoughts would fill my mind and make me go crazy. But today , I realised something.
All this philosophical fancy crap will not get me anywhere. I could go on and on about the empty lives of those who are chasing the 9 pointer dream. I could say , ” He/She may be a xyz pointer or DR abc but he is a talentless and socially awkward geek” . I could say,” I can be that, but I do not wish to make my life uneventful like theirs.”But I realised that not paying attention to studies and being so passive has got me nowhere either.I am tired of idling on facebook , of the endless movie and TV watching sprees , of eating out everyday , of spending more than 10000 bucks every month and still not having any idea where it went , and more so of having to fake a smile after the marks are out, of having to avoid the professor’s gaze in the class , of having to ask others for notes , of having to beg and grovel in front of professors(Well I have not done that though , not really).

This feeling , of not being enough , of wasting your life away, it never goes away.

You will always feel less and lesser in front of the classmates who were once your equals.

An innocent remark can hurt like a stab to the chest. You wonder why no one ever takes you seriously.

The comments like , “So what , atleast you are pretty or at least you are talented” only disgust you.

Because , admit it or not you are and have always been a geek
at heart.

And all this endless talk about what a boring life people who study lead , is downright stupid.
We studied too.
We had fun too.
Hard work does not kill anyone.
Sleeping through life might.
We were never in this mire of procrastination and dejection, always repeating itself.
It is the law of this place , “Survival of the fittest”
And it feels bad to see others live the dream you once had, the dream which had always been so achievable ,which by your own actions you have lost.
And we must either struggle and strive to be the best or remain lost in the labyrinth of our own puzzled mind and never come out of the oblivion.

 

The crush that never was


The only thing more pathetic than liking someone who doesnt like you back is not liking someone , who obviously doesnt like you , since they are random unimportant people , still their friends and they themselves believing that you do.

Now the bad thing about that is there is no possible way of proving you dont like someone , except for your own oath of truthfulness. It doesn’t matter if guys here get into IIT or Harvard or become the next prime minister, a girl being nice to you (If you think you are even slightly good-looking) means she likes you .

There are people who don’t like to talk much, and there are some people who , well, talk to everyone and this is often mistaken for some strain of ‘love for free’ virus . People can be nice to others, you know. without wanting to get married to them . The guys who don’t look nice rarely think this way. They either think girls talk to them because they know what kind of people they are and appreciate them for that or maybe they need to get some work done.

But there are some other guys – the ones who look a little okay, or maybe they think they look okay, who consider that since the asses that they are , the only motivation a girl can have for talking to them must be their looks, because after all why would they talk to socially awkward people like them who always wear the – just been stabbed by a pencil- look.

Sad it is , but there is nothing to be done.

Sadder is the part where such people think that the people who may have (or not) interest in them should be treated like a pain in the…….well whatever .

First of all – some people cant help talking and being the way they are around people

Secondly – being nice to someone who you think maybe likes you is not below dignity

Lastly – Seriously dude !

I mean seriously !